The Changing Face of the Millennial Church: What it looks like when the lost are found

The Changing Face of the Millennial Church
What it looks like when the lost are found

by Dawn Irons        

I recently observed a worship service after-hours at a public school where children volunteered to stay after school for the opportunity to be able to learn about Jesus.  I was almost moved to tears as I watched the dynamic children’s leader engage the children and lead them in worship. It was a sight to behold! The fact we were in a public school was all the more powerful.  As they children raised their hands in worship and had the freedom to dance and rejoice-- their leader was doing the same. This leader was unique. She was spunky, had an infectious smile, she had neon blue hair streaks and as she raised her hands in worship her forearm revealed a tattoo.

Several days later as I was sharing with a group of women just how powerful the after-school outreach to the kids in our community has been, I sat in stunned silence as one of the women calmly said, “I don’t think she is a good role model for children.”  I felt my heart and every muscle in my body tense as the shock of what was said washed over me. Another woman came to the rescue, “Why, because she has blue hair and tattoos? Have you seen the way she connects and engages the children—holding their attention as she shares the gospel with them and leaves them asking for more? Yeah, right! Clearly not a good example!” as she shook her head in disbelief.

Oh, those character building situations! It is this kind of dilemma taking places in churches all over this country that will eventually prove what we are made of. Is the gospel message so shallow that a person’s appearance determines if they are a good role-model? My heart breaks at the hypocrisy… God forbid that we would ever again sing, “I once was lost, but now am found, was blind but now I see,” with that kind of spiritual blindness in our hearts. Have we forgotten from what we ourselves were saved?

The Changing Face of the Church

If f we are to ever reach the 59% of 18-to-29-year-olds who were once raised and very active in the church who now says they will never return-- the church must be willing to embrace change. Without embracing change we are whole-heartedly participating with full-consent as co-conspirators in sending the next generation straight to hell. If we are so entrenched in our traditions that we refuse anything that remotely looks like change we may as well just hang a sign on the church that says, “No new members allowed” and call it a day… as Jesus weeps.

If the opposite is true and the church is willing to do whatever it takes (within Biblical parameters) to reach the lost and those who have abandoned the church in droves (59% is nothing to dismiss!) our landscape of what and how church functions may have to change.

Over the years we have witnessed cosmetic changes in church buildings that were brought about because of the vast research that went into studying what would cause people to have a better experience. Some of the results seemed somewhat shallow—things such as comfortable seating. But it is a wise church that sees the benefit of that information as not really superficial. If having cushioned chairs gives people a more comfortable worship experience and gives them a sense of having some “personal space” as opposed to be squished together in pews—then bring on the chairs and out with the pews! Tradition is really not that important compared to the value of giving people more freedom in their worship experience. If pews ever become more important that giving someone freedom to worship in a way that makes them feel comfortable, we have far bigger problems to confront with our churches!

Not only were there cosmetic changes made to keep people coming back to church and enjoying their corporate worship experience, many churches saw the benefit of having two services: traditional and contemporary. Wasn’t it Paul who said, “When in Rome, do as the Romans do?” It is a wise church that studies their community to such a degree that many missionaries do their foreign countries. It is necessary to bridge the communication gaps, language barriers, etc. The same is true for our local community.

 If congregations are polarized into two camps of traditional and contemporary, there had better be much time spent in studying the culture of both of those camps and making necessary accommodations to meet the spiritual needs of both camps. If not, the contention between the two camps of not having their needs met could very well begin the under-grumblings of something that could ultimately end in a church split. Church splits are not of God! We need to look at areas of pride (and if we are honest, arrogance) and truly look to the needs of others as more important than our own. If this truly happened (in a healthy and balanced way) the traditionals would be doing everything within their power to make sure their contemporary counterparts had their spiritual needs met just as much as the contemporaries contending in favor for their traditional brothers and sisters getting their spiritual needs met.

Greater love has no man than this—that he lay his life down for another. Do we have the strength to do that? In terms of church atmosphere or services, thankfully one group does not have to die for the other, but rather if both groups are equally concerned for the other group’s needs, a church would then begin to THRIVE. There would be unity among the believers—not enmity and strife.  There is also the beauty and unity of a blended service. Would it not be a beautiful sight to behold to see Mrs. Granny Grey-Hair with her time-period pill box hat on her head worshipping side-by-side with Road Rambling Randy, a Harley –driving, tattoo sporting, long haired gentleman with both of their hands lifted in sweet-surrender to the Lord they both love with all their hearts?

Where do We Begin?

First and foremost it begins with genuine repentance on the side of both contemporaries and traditionals. We must admit that our selfishness (and in some cases judgmental bigotry) within our heart’s have harmed our fellow believers.  We should pray and seek to view those who are different than we are through the eyes of a Savior who died for them.

We need to submit our traditions and desires to the Lord. 1 Samuel 16:7 reminds us, “But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

With repentance comes forgiveness and with forgiveness comes restoration of a body of believers. A church that is healthy and whole will embrace the new face of the church.  Because ready or not—there is a generation of people out there that many Christians have NOT given up on. They have a missionary-fire in their bones for their local communities. If those home-based community missionaries go into their communities and win the lost—or find the one’s in self-exile from the church over whatever reason—and bring them back into our congregations, they need to be received with love and dignity—no matter what.  Prepare your congregations in advanced to be ready to receive former prostitutes, former drug dealers, former gang-bangers, people who have chosen to express themselves through body art and body modifications such as tattoos and body piercings. Prepare them. The harvest is coming and the harvest is great—but the workers are few. We should be preparing our congregations to be cheering and supporting the home-based community missionaries just as passionately as we support foreign missionaries.

Prepare your congregations to open their hearts to receive God’s children—no matter what they look like, or where they have come from. Teach them to look past the exterior and to the heart of a lover of Jesus; who just happens to look different than them. After all, we were all saved from something. We were all former sinners (no matter what specific sin it was) and we still daily struggle with our sin nature. We are all in the same boat. At the end of the day, we really are more alike than we will ever be different. We just have to learn to prefer one another over ourselves. If genuinely done on both sides your church will experience unity like never before.

I Love Lucy…And Lucy Loves Me

I would tend to describe myself as more of a traditional sort of believer. Some would say I am conservative to a fault. As I was bringing up my children friends called me the “all-American mother.”  I was a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom of three children. I was protective to a fault. We sort of lived in a “bubble” that I felt would protect us against all worldly influence. Then one day I had a wakeup call! I was asked how I shared my faith with my non-believing friends. I had to rack my brain…I couldn’t think of ONE non-Christian friend that I knew or had any sort of friendship or influence with. I was ashamed. I knew the bubble had to POP!

I remember my legalistic days of trying to teach my daughter that modesty had to do length of skirts and colors that would not draw attention to herself…and I totally missed the point that modesty is a heart-issue! Life started to change in our home. It began in my heart and then flowed outward! I remember when my daughter asked me if she could dye her hair pink and purple! The moment of truth had arrived! The test was truly pass or fail. I had begun teaching my daughter that outward appearance had nothing to do with the condition of one’s heart and that we could not “judge a book by its cover.”  So yes, she was the most beautiful girl with pink and purple hair that I ever saw…and Jesus still loved her and she was still modest.

I was going through a learning curve and it didn’t happen overnight.  So fast-forward to this conversation I was confronted with recently about the children’s director who had blue hair and tattoos. It disturbed me on a deep level—maybe because it hit a bit too close to home. That attitude used to be my attitude and the shame flooded my memory again. I decided to make an appointment to meet with this children’s director Lucy Arrellano who embodies what it means to be a home-based community missionary.  She serves as the Director of Children’s Ministry at First Baptist Church of Bedford and she  also serves as the Director of Innovation and Creativity at Courageous Church in Arlington.

When I had the opportunity to speak with Lucy I asked her if she ever felt the sting or the stares of people she felt may be judging her. Her answer surprised me.  She said, “I’ve always marched to the beat of my own drum. I’ve learned to be confident in who I am in the Lord.” It’s not that she hasn’t noticed looks and stares, but they don’t define or change who she is in Christ.

Lucy went on to describe the origins of her spunky and different sense of style. She shared about being in-and-out of 10 different schools in 12 years. She said having a different look enabled her to come out of her shell. She has an amazing sense of humor and claims the style and humor had become a survival skill. It was an easy way to make friends for her.  But don’t be fooled! Her style and humor are more than just survival skills and coping mechanisms to get through tough times. She is not masking anything! Lucy said, “My style is just an outward expression of how I feel inside.”  Lucy knows and lives authentic joy in Christ. If you talk to her long enough you will find her joy is contagious!

On a more difficult note, Lucy described a recent event where a close friend of hers told her that she would no longer provide Lucy with a job reference for children’s ministry because “real Christians don’t dress or look like that.” The sting is real, but it does not deter her passion to live courageously for Christ and to be comfortable in who He has created her to be. And because of her courageous passion for Christ, there are two churches in the DFW Metroplex who have sought her out intentionally to work with their children, serve on their worship teams, and bring innovative and creative ideas to make Jesus relevant to a post-Christian society.

Has the Church Come to Love Her Traditions More than Her Children?

Has the Church Come to Love Her Traditions More than Her Children?

A storm is coming. An alarm has sounded. The beauty of s storm warning system is that you have time to prepare. You know the location of the storm and scientific approximations of when it will hit your area. Do you hear the alarms? Are you prepared for what is coming and for what is already upon us? Church, we have a problem!

I recently attended a conference in Arlington, Texas that was focused on the discipleship issues of churches and how they reach out to the Mosaics (the term coined to define those in the age group of 18-29 years old.) The conference was titled You Lost Me and it referenced the research done by Barna researcher David Kinnaman that was published in a book by the same name.

There are some clear indications in the research of things the church can do to turn the tide of this mass exodus of young people from our congregations and even the complete rejection of their faith as a whole.  As Kinnaman stated, though, “It’s complicated.”

There were 7 clear reasons why the Mosaics say they are abandoning their churches and their faith. Those reasons include:

·         Church is overprotective

·         Church is repressive on issues of sex

·         Church is anti-science

·         Church seems exclusive and excludes those who are different from them

·         Church allows no room for doubt

·         Church is shallow and superficial

·         Church is rigid

If you are like me, my initial reaction was to justify why some of these issues were important, but the more I stopped and just listened, I think I finally heard what these young adults were saying for the first time.  We often have pat Sunday school answers to these concerns, but this generation of young people is demanding far more than a pat answer.  They want dialogue. Not debate—dialogue. They state that Christianity does not seem to answer these deep questions with thoughtful or challenging ways. A pat answer will drive these young adults farther from the church and their faith.

An argument could be made that the church should never compromise its standard on the basis of culture. American culture should not be shaping the church. This is true. But to deny the reality of the culture we live in and then attempt to make Christianity relevant to the Mosaics is to drive that wedge between this generation and the church even further.

This is Not Your Father’s Babylon

Kinnaman further explained the fallacy of thinking in the boomer generation. It seems the baby boomers are not too concerned about this fall out of young people because historically this has always happened. Their experience has taught them that they will return to the church and their faith when they have children. It is a temporary absence.  Unfortunately, research shows that they are terribly mistaken.

The baby boomers seem to have forgotten the landmark transformation their generation had on the face of the church. They ushered in the Jesus Movement which many decried was a “spirit of Babylon” taking over the church. Churches began to stylistically change to keep and meet the needs of these passionate new believers. Tradition sort of yielded to the newer and contemporary sounds of Keith Green and contemporary Christian music. Some rejected this new cultural trend saying it was a passing fad—but the baby boomers were building the church of a new generation and saw the importance of being relevant to the people and speaking the language of the culture. Some called it compromise; others called it good mission work. Whatever it was, it changed the landscape of the church forever. The boomers made their mark on their world and the church.

But fast-forward to the age of the Mosaics we see now leaving their faith and their churches. What has happened? We are seeing the boomers holding fast to the traditions they created and being unyielding to the reality of culture that our young adults live in. If this generation is not given the same liberty to bring their faith in God to the culture they live in and be able to tackle the issues of the day, the only epitaph of the Mosaics to the Christian church will be, “You lost me.”

As Kinnaman continued to declare, “It’s complicated.”  The “Babylon” the Mosaics live in is not the same “Babylon” the boomers lived in. A plaguing question that must be answered is why did the boomers forget the impact they had to change their world and the church? Why would we not afford the Mosaics the same opportunity for the sake of Christ to be carried to this generation?  Why is it that we think the Mosaics are no big deal and the church won’t have to change to reach them?  Kinnaman further challenged the boomers and said, “We have to be just as vigilant in taking on self-righteousness in the church as we are about unrighteousness in the world.” And he was far from finished. In fact, he was just getting started.

Kinnaman began to discuss the passage of scripture in Matthew 18:6 which states, “…but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.” He further went on to explain the context of this passage being about false teachings and heresy.  Then he framed his next question with great conviction. “What if the way we are doing church, the way we are discipling (or not discipling) is just as heretical that this passage would now apply to us?”  Our church’s current approach to Christianity is driving off 59% of the Mosaic generation—that is 59% who grew up and were actively participating in bible-believing churches and now say they will never return to the church. Are we harming an entire generation of young people’s ability to grow in Christ and make it relevant to the current culture? It’s complicated.

In this complex culture the Mosaics find themselves submerged in, Kinnaman suggests that there are 2 kinds of courage that are needed:

1.       Courage of Purity: to be able to live God and their convictions in a complex culture

2.       Proximate Courage: to be close enough to culture to influence it and the courage to stand up to a self-righteous church

How Do We Reverse the 59% Exodus?

The research and interviews with the Mosaics revealed 5 specific courses of action that would keep them connected and active in their churches and faith:

1.       Meaningful Relationships:  research showed that the Mosaics who maintained healthy connections with their church had strong personal relationships they made at church but that were fostered outside the church. Mosaics are highly relational people.

2.       Cultural Discernment: Mosaics do not want to compromise their faith to fit in the culture, but they do want the church to recognize the complexities of the culture they do live in and not dismiss it as irrelevant.

3.       Reverse Mentoring & Life Modeling: The people of Israel needed Esther. And it our modern society it may be for such a time as this that we need the Mosaics to teach us how to make Christianity relevant to this culture. We lose when we don’t include and challenge young people. They expect diversity and relish it. For Mosaics there is a fine line between discipleship and brainwashing. They want to be able to coexist with people in our culture that are different than them and treat others with dignity and respect. They want others to respect their personal faith preferences and beliefs so they are willing to respects other’s right to believe or not to without thinking less of a person.

4.       Vocational Discipleship: 97% of the average congregation is never going to be called to vocational ministry. These people are natural resources of carrying the Gospel into the marketplace. Only 16% of Christians know how the Bible relates to their chosen profession. Help people find the link of their faith and their profession and celebrate how God uniquely called them to the field they are in for a purpose.

5.       Recognize Mosaics can hear the voice of God: There is arrogance in many churches that are stuck in tradition that God gives wisdom to the elders. But there are times, as in the story of Eli and Samuel that God’s voice is no longer discerned by older leadership (for whatever reason) and God is speaking loud and clear to the younger generation. But they are often met with the resistance that what they are hearing from God is pushing against established traditions.

To say the situation at hand is complicated is quite the understatement. But now, more than ever, if we are reach the Mosaic generation (of which only 4% claim to be Bible-believing Christians with a Christian worldview) the church needs to do some serious re-evaluation of what it will take to reach this generation. The question remains valid: What if the way we are currently doing church (that is driving 59% of the Mosaics to abandon their church and their faith) qualifies us to have a millstone placed on our neck and tossed into the sea? Will we bridge that gap between the boomers and the mosaics?  The future of the church and the cause of Christ depend on it. Let the discussions and transformations begin.

Have We Lost Sight of the Goal: Misplaced Priorities

As I was driving down the road the other day, I came to a red light and noticed a bumper sticker on the car in front of me. I had a quick chuckle, then moved on as the light changed.  The bumper sticker said, "A Christian without a passport is like a car without an engine."



The more I drove, even arriving at my destination... the thought would not leave me. I giggled at the sentiment because there is a bit of truth to it and it had a sting of conviction to it for me.  All day long the thought kept at the front of my thoughts and would not let me go.  Clearly my spirit was wrestling with something and it went far deeper than bumper sticker theology!



I thought about the clients that I see daily and their heart of restoration for their families. Something inside the depth of my heart challenged the momentary guilt I felt for never having taken the gospel to the "ends of the earth." Then it occurred to me-- maybe the Christians who don't have a passport have genuinely caught the divine revelation of the importance of "Jerusalem, Judea, and Samaria!"

I have recently had the great honor to work along side of some very devoted counselors and lay-ministers as we develop a community-wide Celebrate Recovery ministry in the DFW area. I have heard the heart-cry of these home-based missionaries who relate stories of God's deliverance in their lives and how they now walk in freedom from their hurts, habits and hang-ups. A friend asked me the other day why I was so intense and passionate about the ministry of Celebrate Recovery. I told her there are only two things by which we can overcome: 1. the blood of the Lamb and 2. the word of our testimony. 



I have seen people dabble with efforts at change and it had effects that lasted about as long as most New year's Resolutions! But I have seen the power of God do amazing things in people's lives in Celebrate Recovery and it has been nothing short of life-changing transformation.  It is not for the faint of heart. It is much like Jacob when he wrestled with the Angel of the Lord at Pineal. Jacob said, "I saw God face-to-face and yet my life was spared."



I see these transformed people fighting for their families in heart-wrenching prayer. I see them lay down their worries and anxieties and begin to walk in freedom, trusting that God will keep relentlessly pursuing their loved one's who they pray for. They stopped striving in vanity to change their loved one's and began laying them at the feet of Jesus through travailing prayer.

I watch the devotion of these people to the see the salvation of their loved ones and I what I see are home-land missionaries. They are in every bit of a spiritual warfare for a lost people-group than are those missionaries in the depths of Africa.



And speaking of Africa-- many years ago a missionary from South Africa came to our church and spoke.  My immediate assumption was that he was coming to call for more laborers to his country. But I was quickly taken aback at my arrogance when he began telling us how God called him out of Africa to be a missionary to the church in the United States!



There was a moment of deep calling unto deep. A quiet whisper-- turn your heart towards home. It is true that not all Christians are called to be overseas missionaries, but make no mistake-- ALL Christians are called to be missionaries! What is your mission field? Have we failed to see the value of the mission field in our own homes, in our neighborhoods, our cities, our states and our own country?



My clients are just a microcosm of the American church. These are believers in depths of the battle for the health and safety of their families. I would dare say the average church congregations are just as wounded and/or spiritually broken as the people who seek me for counsel. But at least my clients are aware of their need for help. Too often the church is unaware of it's own brokenness and too ashamed to ask for help for fear it would make them look weak.



As I think in term of the homeland mission field, one thought pierces my heart and mind, "God forbid that we would ever replicate disciples in our own brokenness and woundedness!" In fact it is the great commission itself that makes me all the more vigilant to stay home and disciple my own children, the clients God sends to me, the people in my church, the people in our communities in terms of RECOVERY and HEALING and FREEDOM. Then, and only then, are healed and made new in Christ that we could confidently disciple people with the mind of Christ-- not our brokenness. God does not need the church to replicate broken and wounded disciples.



I think the map of priority is right there in black and white--- well, read letters, actually! The mission we have all been given begins at home (Jerusalem) and then to our surrounding community (Judea) and then to those pesky suburbs that may irritate us (Samaria).... and then, only then.... to the ends of the earth. If our priorities are so misaligned that we go out and save the world and then lose the very one's God has placed in our homes and within touching distance--what have we profited? Broken people beget broken people. Hurt people will hurt people. And ultimately-- free people will free people.



I have gotten of the guilt of not having a passport. I have even come to terms with the fact that I may never set a foot in Nicaragua as was my heart's desire for so long. But God has given me an unquenchable passion and desire to help heal the broken-hearted and bind up their wounds and help them cling to Jesus with every fiber of their being--- right here in America.