It is not uncommon to see a new client walk into my office
for the first time with a look of fear and uncertainty on their face. They sit down and get settled on the sofa and
begin to look to me for answers to circumstances that have rocked their world.
It is in that moment of their deep desperation and hurt I remind myself that the
only way I can be of any genuine help to them is if I bring the reality of
Jesus Christ into my counseling room.
Many people have asked me how I can reconcile my Christian
faith and the science of Psychology. They seem to believe the two are wholly
incompatible. I don’t try to change their minds. At the end of the day, I have
to know that what I believe and how I practice my counseling is pleasing before
the Lord. With my deeply-held convictions and scriptural guidance I find that faith
and science together prove that God is concerned about the body, soul and
spirit of humanity.
I will be the first to say that I think Sigmund Freud was
out in left field on many of his ideas. But there were other areas where he was
spot on. Where his theory was good, it
was very good. Where his theory was bad, it was very bad. I have never felt
compelled to embrace any particular counseling theory complete hook, line and
sinker. Rather, I trust the word of God
to lead and discern the various counseling theories and discover what is best
for me and my clients.
People are so diverse and so are their issues. There is not
one counseling theory that will work for every single issue I will see in my
therapy office. But I find strength and confidence that the Word of God is sufficient
for every need that I will encounter with my clients. So you may ask, “So are you a counselor or a
Bible teacher?” I would emphatically say BOTH! With that said, I will say that
my preference of counseling theory is based in Emotionally Focused Couples
Therapy (EFT) which was founded by Sue Johnson (who is not a believer to my
knowledge). But the theory she founded is so riddled with the basic concepts
and truths of human attachment needs which is the foundations of what we see unfold
in the book of Genesis.
God created humans with an innate need for relationship with
Him. He desired fellowship with us. Sin
(our hurts, habits and hang-ups) enter the reality of our world and we find
ourselves surrounded by depression, anxiety, guilt, shame, panic attacks, etc…
and we experience separation from our primary attachment figure—God himself. So we can apply that same principle to other
significant attachment relationships in our lives: our spouses, children,
siblings, parents and we can begin to see where resolving attachment wounds can
bring about reconciliation and restoration.
Another theory which I draw heavily from is called the Family
Systems Theory. In this theory, you will
discover the basic concept “that the whole is more than the sum of its parts.”
The family unit itself is more important than the individuals that make up the
family. God designed us to be in families.
When families become dysfunctional it hurts everyone involved. People learn
survival skills in dysfunctional families and everyone plays their part. The
negative cycle of dysfunction almost becomes predictable. As a therapist, I see
my role in family therapy as one who helps the family acclimate to more healthy
ways of communicating and resolving conflicts. When real communication occurs
and a safe environment is given for each member to truly express what their
individual experience has been in the family, their perception is validated and
they feel understood. This process helps other family members see their loved one
in a new light. It develops the ability to practice empathy and begin to work
more fluidly and gives a new opportunity to rebuild healthy family attachments
and relationships.
When I deal with issues of addiction there is understandably
some use of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Scripture validates the basics
of this theory very well. Proverbs 4:23
says, “Guard your heart with all diligence, for out of flow the issues of life.”
In CBT, the premise is that what you think, you will become—the self fulfilling
prophecy concept. It deals with
confronting irrational thinking.
Addiction typically begins with a thought. The thought becomes action.
The action becomes a craving. The craving becomes a habit. The habit becomes a
full blown addiction. Addiction is a double-edged
sword in that you have to deal with the addiction side of the problem, but you
also have to explore the underlying needs that was unmet which caused the
person to self-medicate with what has now become an issues. Discovering those unmet needs or possible attachment
wounds is where EFT is interjected into a combo-theory approach.
I find that an eclectic knowledge of evidence-based
counseling theory that lines us with the principles of sound doctrine we see
outlined in scripture is the best approach for Christian counseling. True soul
care includes caring for the body, soul and spirit of our clients with the mind
of Christ. The people who come to me looking for help are facing real problems
that need real solutions. The best solutions I can offer them are based in the
reality of Jesus Christ who loves them with an ever-lasting love and died for
them even while they were still sinners.
God never wastes a hurt. I am a sinner saved by grace. God has used the
trials of my life and turned my mess into His message of grace and hope for
those who feel hopelessly lost and in need of someone in this life to walk
along side of them and teach them to apply the truth of God’s word into their
overwhelming circumstances.
Enjoying the journey…
Dawn Irons, M.A., LPC
www.HopeHarborDFW.com
www.HopeHarborDFW.com
