The Changing Face of the Millennial Church: What it looks like when the lost are found

The Changing Face of the Millennial Church
What it looks like when the lost are found

by Dawn Irons        

I recently observed a worship service after-hours at a public school where children volunteered to stay after school for the opportunity to be able to learn about Jesus.  I was almost moved to tears as I watched the dynamic children’s leader engage the children and lead them in worship. It was a sight to behold! The fact we were in a public school was all the more powerful.  As they children raised their hands in worship and had the freedom to dance and rejoice-- their leader was doing the same. This leader was unique. She was spunky, had an infectious smile, she had neon blue hair streaks and as she raised her hands in worship her forearm revealed a tattoo.

Several days later as I was sharing with a group of women just how powerful the after-school outreach to the kids in our community has been, I sat in stunned silence as one of the women calmly said, “I don’t think she is a good role model for children.”  I felt my heart and every muscle in my body tense as the shock of what was said washed over me. Another woman came to the rescue, “Why, because she has blue hair and tattoos? Have you seen the way she connects and engages the children—holding their attention as she shares the gospel with them and leaves them asking for more? Yeah, right! Clearly not a good example!” as she shook her head in disbelief.

Oh, those character building situations! It is this kind of dilemma taking places in churches all over this country that will eventually prove what we are made of. Is the gospel message so shallow that a person’s appearance determines if they are a good role-model? My heart breaks at the hypocrisy… God forbid that we would ever again sing, “I once was lost, but now am found, was blind but now I see,” with that kind of spiritual blindness in our hearts. Have we forgotten from what we ourselves were saved?

The Changing Face of the Church

If f we are to ever reach the 59% of 18-to-29-year-olds who were once raised and very active in the church who now says they will never return-- the church must be willing to embrace change. Without embracing change we are whole-heartedly participating with full-consent as co-conspirators in sending the next generation straight to hell. If we are so entrenched in our traditions that we refuse anything that remotely looks like change we may as well just hang a sign on the church that says, “No new members allowed” and call it a day… as Jesus weeps.

If the opposite is true and the church is willing to do whatever it takes (within Biblical parameters) to reach the lost and those who have abandoned the church in droves (59% is nothing to dismiss!) our landscape of what and how church functions may have to change.

Over the years we have witnessed cosmetic changes in church buildings that were brought about because of the vast research that went into studying what would cause people to have a better experience. Some of the results seemed somewhat shallow—things such as comfortable seating. But it is a wise church that sees the benefit of that information as not really superficial. If having cushioned chairs gives people a more comfortable worship experience and gives them a sense of having some “personal space” as opposed to be squished together in pews—then bring on the chairs and out with the pews! Tradition is really not that important compared to the value of giving people more freedom in their worship experience. If pews ever become more important that giving someone freedom to worship in a way that makes them feel comfortable, we have far bigger problems to confront with our churches!

Not only were there cosmetic changes made to keep people coming back to church and enjoying their corporate worship experience, many churches saw the benefit of having two services: traditional and contemporary. Wasn’t it Paul who said, “When in Rome, do as the Romans do?” It is a wise church that studies their community to such a degree that many missionaries do their foreign countries. It is necessary to bridge the communication gaps, language barriers, etc. The same is true for our local community.

 If congregations are polarized into two camps of traditional and contemporary, there had better be much time spent in studying the culture of both of those camps and making necessary accommodations to meet the spiritual needs of both camps. If not, the contention between the two camps of not having their needs met could very well begin the under-grumblings of something that could ultimately end in a church split. Church splits are not of God! We need to look at areas of pride (and if we are honest, arrogance) and truly look to the needs of others as more important than our own. If this truly happened (in a healthy and balanced way) the traditionals would be doing everything within their power to make sure their contemporary counterparts had their spiritual needs met just as much as the contemporaries contending in favor for their traditional brothers and sisters getting their spiritual needs met.

Greater love has no man than this—that he lay his life down for another. Do we have the strength to do that? In terms of church atmosphere or services, thankfully one group does not have to die for the other, but rather if both groups are equally concerned for the other group’s needs, a church would then begin to THRIVE. There would be unity among the believers—not enmity and strife.  There is also the beauty and unity of a blended service. Would it not be a beautiful sight to behold to see Mrs. Granny Grey-Hair with her time-period pill box hat on her head worshipping side-by-side with Road Rambling Randy, a Harley –driving, tattoo sporting, long haired gentleman with both of their hands lifted in sweet-surrender to the Lord they both love with all their hearts?

Where do We Begin?

First and foremost it begins with genuine repentance on the side of both contemporaries and traditionals. We must admit that our selfishness (and in some cases judgmental bigotry) within our heart’s have harmed our fellow believers.  We should pray and seek to view those who are different than we are through the eyes of a Savior who died for them.

We need to submit our traditions and desires to the Lord. 1 Samuel 16:7 reminds us, “But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

With repentance comes forgiveness and with forgiveness comes restoration of a body of believers. A church that is healthy and whole will embrace the new face of the church.  Because ready or not—there is a generation of people out there that many Christians have NOT given up on. They have a missionary-fire in their bones for their local communities. If those home-based community missionaries go into their communities and win the lost—or find the one’s in self-exile from the church over whatever reason—and bring them back into our congregations, they need to be received with love and dignity—no matter what.  Prepare your congregations in advanced to be ready to receive former prostitutes, former drug dealers, former gang-bangers, people who have chosen to express themselves through body art and body modifications such as tattoos and body piercings. Prepare them. The harvest is coming and the harvest is great—but the workers are few. We should be preparing our congregations to be cheering and supporting the home-based community missionaries just as passionately as we support foreign missionaries.

Prepare your congregations to open their hearts to receive God’s children—no matter what they look like, or where they have come from. Teach them to look past the exterior and to the heart of a lover of Jesus; who just happens to look different than them. After all, we were all saved from something. We were all former sinners (no matter what specific sin it was) and we still daily struggle with our sin nature. We are all in the same boat. At the end of the day, we really are more alike than we will ever be different. We just have to learn to prefer one another over ourselves. If genuinely done on both sides your church will experience unity like never before.

I Love Lucy…And Lucy Loves Me

I would tend to describe myself as more of a traditional sort of believer. Some would say I am conservative to a fault. As I was bringing up my children friends called me the “all-American mother.”  I was a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom of three children. I was protective to a fault. We sort of lived in a “bubble” that I felt would protect us against all worldly influence. Then one day I had a wakeup call! I was asked how I shared my faith with my non-believing friends. I had to rack my brain…I couldn’t think of ONE non-Christian friend that I knew or had any sort of friendship or influence with. I was ashamed. I knew the bubble had to POP!

I remember my legalistic days of trying to teach my daughter that modesty had to do length of skirts and colors that would not draw attention to herself…and I totally missed the point that modesty is a heart-issue! Life started to change in our home. It began in my heart and then flowed outward! I remember when my daughter asked me if she could dye her hair pink and purple! The moment of truth had arrived! The test was truly pass or fail. I had begun teaching my daughter that outward appearance had nothing to do with the condition of one’s heart and that we could not “judge a book by its cover.”  So yes, she was the most beautiful girl with pink and purple hair that I ever saw…and Jesus still loved her and she was still modest.

I was going through a learning curve and it didn’t happen overnight.  So fast-forward to this conversation I was confronted with recently about the children’s director who had blue hair and tattoos. It disturbed me on a deep level—maybe because it hit a bit too close to home. That attitude used to be my attitude and the shame flooded my memory again. I decided to make an appointment to meet with this children’s director Lucy Arrellano who embodies what it means to be a home-based community missionary.  She serves as the Director of Children’s Ministry at First Baptist Church of Bedford and she  also serves as the Director of Innovation and Creativity at Courageous Church in Arlington.

When I had the opportunity to speak with Lucy I asked her if she ever felt the sting or the stares of people she felt may be judging her. Her answer surprised me.  She said, “I’ve always marched to the beat of my own drum. I’ve learned to be confident in who I am in the Lord.” It’s not that she hasn’t noticed looks and stares, but they don’t define or change who she is in Christ.

Lucy went on to describe the origins of her spunky and different sense of style. She shared about being in-and-out of 10 different schools in 12 years. She said having a different look enabled her to come out of her shell. She has an amazing sense of humor and claims the style and humor had become a survival skill. It was an easy way to make friends for her.  But don’t be fooled! Her style and humor are more than just survival skills and coping mechanisms to get through tough times. She is not masking anything! Lucy said, “My style is just an outward expression of how I feel inside.”  Lucy knows and lives authentic joy in Christ. If you talk to her long enough you will find her joy is contagious!

On a more difficult note, Lucy described a recent event where a close friend of hers told her that she would no longer provide Lucy with a job reference for children’s ministry because “real Christians don’t dress or look like that.” The sting is real, but it does not deter her passion to live courageously for Christ and to be comfortable in who He has created her to be. And because of her courageous passion for Christ, there are two churches in the DFW Metroplex who have sought her out intentionally to work with their children, serve on their worship teams, and bring innovative and creative ideas to make Jesus relevant to a post-Christian society.